Here’s a quick math test for you:
Are you adding to the businesses and products you write for?
Or are you subtracting?
Are you multiplying?
Or are you dividing?
I suppose you are curious about that title, especially if you are a Looney Tunes fan. I’ll get to that in one minute and 37 seconds. (Yes I timed how long it takes to read from this point until that point. I’m weird that way.)
I write about my clients’ stories every day and realized I should pause and talk about my own story, as a way to give you a reason why you should give this blog even the merest edge of attention.
I have been a short copy specialist ever since I learned to write. When my mom would go off to her part time job as a nurse I would sit at her desk and write her short notes about our dog’s misbehavior, the foods I carefully avoided eating during dinner, and other such enthralling details.
During my teens I wrote lots and lots and LOTS of poetry. I also read Erma Bombeck’s humor columns and books and dreamed of becoming a syndicated humor columnist someday (Erma Bombeck was a famous syndicated columnist from the late 1960s until her death in the late 1990s). I think I wore out the library’s copy of a cassette tape of a Writer’s Digest interview in which she discussed in great detail how she wrote her 450 word columns three times per week. (Is it a coincidence that much of my email copy ends up being 450 words? Hmmmm.)
I went to college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and majored in English. Being a short copy specialist it was always hard for me to write my papers the prescribed length for I always made my point quickly. During this time I also wrote movie reviews for the Badger Herald, a campus newspaper. It was during an independent study course with the late Prof. Alexander Chambers that I really learned to cut my chops as a writer. He assigned a paper each week and didn’t care how long or short it was (yay!) but would dramatically mark up each paper in red ink before my eyes during each session (ouch!). Then, at the final session, he dramatically refused to remove the red pen from his drawer, fully confident that it would be unnecessary. That was the highlight of my college career.
After college graduation I did indeed start writing humor columns in local weekly newspapers in Massachusetts and Wisconsin. I did this for about 15 years, for very little pay, but it helped to perfect my short copy skills.
I was an online bookseller for three of those years, selling used books on eBay and Amazon. I wrote literally thousands of product descriptions for the books I sold and learned the internet ropes as well as blogging.
Then in 2005 I discovered that freelance copywriting existed as a career. And that it had the potential to pay well and give me the opportunity to work from home for clients all over the world. Huzzah! I set about to learn the craft from a variety of sources, books and coaches, including AWAI, Michel Fortin, Jay White and many copywriting colleagues on Michel Fortin’s Copywriters Board.
Since the fall of 2007 I have been an email copy specialist, which means I discover and write the stories of my clients and their products.
One way of describing it is to say that I’m the Mel Blanc of copywriting. On any given day I’m writing emails for a variety of clients, and they all have very different voices.
(By the way, Mel Blanc did most of the voices for the Looney Tunes characters and was known as the “man of 1000 voices”).
My clients’ voices are as distinct from each other as, say, Sam Sheepdog’s, Pepe Le Pew’s, Tweety Bird’s, Bugs Bunny’s, Mr. Spacely’s and Speedy Gonzalez’s are from each other.
Because email is a personal medium, even in a business, it’s important for me to capture my clients’ voices in my copywriting, in addition to using the proper techniques to tell their story and increase response and click thru rates. Many of my clients retain my services month after month so I’m always thinking of how to weave the things I read and experience into my copy and in the appropriate voice.
Few copywriters specialize in email copy, preferring long copy sales pages. Fine by me. More fun for me that way.
If you’d like me to write email copy in your voice, and obsess over creating stories for you, just hit the contact button over in the right sidebar. I’m pretty busy but I might have room for your project.
Anyway, as Mel used to say, “That’s all folks.”
When I was checking out at Trader Joe’s the other day the clerk pointed to the toilet paper roll package and said, “Have you read the story on the package? It’s hilarious.”
I’m always a sucker for a good story. Also, as a copywriter, I’m always up for getting inspiration from anywhere, even from a toilet paper package, so I read it as I walked out of the store.
Here’s what the front of the package says:
There are several people in the illustration and there’s obviously some sort of party going on. Trader Joe’s leaves the details to your imagination.
Now for the best part. The side of the package has this:
I love the pithy headline and the hyperbole. Moreover, Trader Joe’s copywriters are clearly having fun with the copy and I’ll take this over toilet paper with bears or clouds or babies on it any day.
It reminds me of perhaps the most fun I’ve ever had writing copy. When a friend of mine was moving a couple of years ago she tried renting a shop vac at the last minute but was unable to and cleaning up the mess without one was a major ordeal for her.
I told her she should have asked to borrow mine and wrote a quick sales letter with a mega headline touting all the benefits of my shop vac and emailed it to her.
I wrote it to amuse my friend but it ended up being a great exercise, to take an everyday object and find the benefits and write about them in an exaggerated way. Give it a try sometime.
P. S. Thanks to my oldest daughter for taking these photos. She didn’t bat an eyelash or ask any questions when I asked her to please photograph this toilet paper package for me. Gotta love that. 
I was an avid golfer for ten years, from the ages of 12-22 years old.
Now that I’m a copywriter and have to indulge in a lot of lateral thinking, it occurred to me recently that, for me, playing golf had NOTHING to do with golf.
Instead it had everything to do with my father, a dead ten-year-old boy and my high school best friend.
When I was 12 years old my dad took me to the driving range.
I had never held a golf club before so he gave me a little lesson. I’m sure I was fascinated by hearing my taciturn father speak so many words in a row.
I teed up my first shot and knocked it about 150 yards. He was most impressed.
Not long after that I scored a 65 during my first round of nine holes and he was impressed again.
He was not a man to dole out praise so no doubt that’s what fueled my interest in golf in the early going.
Plus I impressed the heck out of the neighbor kids when one of my errant tee shots knocked a squirrel out of a tree. I lived off that story for quite a while.
Anyway, it never occurred to me to ask my best friend to golf with me. It didn’t seem like it would be her thing at all. She was into horses and stuff.
Then, one Friday in May 1982, I cheerfully said “have a great weekend!” to her as we boarded our respective school buses.
Later that evening she hitched her horse up to a wagon and set out for a wagon ride with her parents. Her 10-year-old brother Jeff hopped on his bike and joined them.
He raced a little distance ahead of them. It was near sunset and a driver’s eyes were temporarily blinded by the sun as he drove down that country road where Jeff was pedaling.
His car hit Jeff and killed him instantly. My friend and her parents arrived on the scene a minute or two later.
The next morning my friend’s grandmother called my mother with the news.
My mom came to the table where my 11-year-old brother (who was friends with Jeff) and I were eating breakfast and told us what happened.
My brother started crying. His tears literally splashed into his cereal bowl and he kept eating cereal as he cried, as if he was in shock.
For once, I wasn’t irritated by his noisy way of eating cereal.
For once, I didn’t roll my eyes at the sight of him crying.
It was the first time I saw him cry for selfless reasons. It’s a mental snapshot I feel privileged to have tucked in my memory.
Then came the visitation and the sight of Jeff in his Cub Scout uniform in his casket was too heart-wrenching.
Even my dad cried. It’s the only time I’ve seen him cry. Another mental snapshot that I gently filed away in my memory.
Then came the day that I was anxious about, when my friend returned to school.
What would I say to her? I couldn’t just pretend that life was normal. Plus, I still had a little brother…and she didn’t.
I was only 15 and didn’t have enough life experience to have anything profound or comforting to say.
Inexplicably, I ended up inviting her to the driving range and she accepted.
I gave her a little lesson at the range and she knocked a 150 yard drive before we were done.
A neighbor gave her an old set of clubs and we proceeded to play golf together as often as possible during the next several summers.
Golf gave us something to do with our hands as we talked and laughed. And dissed the Illinois golfers who would clog our southern Wisconsin golf course on the weekends. And rolled our eyes at the drunken twentysomething male golfers who would hit on us sometimes.
Golf also made it easy for us to be quiet together.
In short, golfing had NOTHING to do with golf.
So, returning to the topic of copywriting (finally)…
If you’re writing copy and stuck for an idea, and not finding all the “hidden benefits” to your product, think about an activity you do regularly. Analyze the reasons you really do that activity, reasons that might not seem obvious.
This should get your creative juices flowing.
For more lateral thinking exercises just check out the Wikipedia entry for lateral thinking or search Google.
Lateral thinking can be the power for your next great headline, idea or product… or life-changing event.
Fore!
I love stories like these and this is one of the best I’ve come across in a while and it made my week.
It also raises a question that I hope you’ll help me answer.
Surely by now you’ve heard of Susan Boyle, who wowed the world with her singing on Britian’s Got Talent show. The YouTube video has received 9 million hits in only a few days.
Here’s the video if you haven’t seen it yet. Be sure you read the lyrics over on the right side of the video. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Did you notice how the crowd was against her before she started singing?
She’s 47-years-old, frumpy looking, unemployed, and has never been kissed.
She was bullied as a child and lives alone in the house she grew up in; she lived with her parents until they died.
She went on Britain’s Got Talent because her mom, who died in 2007, insisted that she should and was confident that she would win.
Susan wasn’t nearly as confident and was only able to work up the courage after her mom’s death.
From the very first notes she stunned the judges and audience…and the world.
The song she sings – I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables – only adds to the emotion, because it’s as if the lyrics were written for her.
This brings me to my question…would we notice her talent if it weren’t for her story?
If she was pretty and had a privileged life, what would we think of her singing abilities? Would we notice her talent in the same way?
Is it even possible to have that kind of talent without a story like that? I think that the pain and loneliness she has experienced helped shape her voice in a way that first class vocal training never could.
What’s YOUR story?
Is it evident in your talents…your products…your copywriting…your life?
I recently read a Reader’s Digest article about Jay Leno and all kinds of marketing lessons jumped out at me. First of all he says, “I’m a huge believer in low self-esteem… If there’s a secret to my success, it’s that I honestly don’t think I’m better than anyone.”
He goes even further and says he has never spent a dime he’s made in television, he only lives off the money he makes as a stand up comic so as to avoid becoming a “TV personality.”
Imagine an internet marketer saying that he doesn’t touch the money he makes from his own products, he only lives on the money he makes writing for clients. I’m sure I’d fall over if I ever heard a marketer say that.
But this is a good reminder for those of us immersed in positioning ourselves as experts or our (or our clients’) products as the savior. It’s too easy to take ourselves…and the money…too seriously.
I also like the way Jay summarizes the craft of stand up comedy: “When you’re a stand-up comedian, it’s like being a transmission specialist. You can make something, you can fix something. I can go to a comedy club, tell jokes, make some money, and go home without having to bother anybody.”
That’s a great way of describing freelance copywriting as well.
Many copywriters trumpet the advantages of having your own product and making seven figures a year and refuse to take clients anymore. And thats fine.
But there’s also a lot to be said for an honest day’s work at the computer writing copy and not having to bother anybody and avoiding all the headaches of increased taxes, customer returns, outsourcing fees, product development, etc. in the process.
I also enjoy the luxury, so to speak, of zeroing in on my client’s email marketing and finding the gaps and noting areas that need improvement. It’s like playing detective and a busy marketer usually doesn’t have time to do that themselves.
Being a freelancer also helps keep the insecurity close to the surface. I don’t know about you, but I can get really insecure sometimes, wondering if, say, a client’s delay in replying to me means they hate the copy they wrote.
Frankly, I hope I don’t ever lose that edge of insecurity. “Insecurity is your best security” as they say.
Here’s one final quote from Jay: “To me, this job is like giving people M&M’s. You give them a couple, they want more. If you stop, they wander off. My job is to make sure I have enough M&M’s to keep people happy.”
Basically we’re all in the M&M business too.
My favorite subject line from last week was Ed Dale’s “Why is Ed SO HOT and FASHIONABLE?”
Of course I knew it was a tactic to get me to open the email and figured the email was probably about Ryan Deiss’ Continuity Blueprint or John Carlton’s Simple Writing System and not about fashion. Alas. But I liked it. He’s a fun guy and not afraid to let it show in his subject lines.
On Saturday I went to Shopko (a store similar to Target here in Wisconsin).
One of the items on my list was skirt hangers so I went to the part of the store where hangers should logically be.
No hangers.
I scoured the storage, household goods, kitchen wares and laundry sections.
Nuthin’.
After walking around in frustration for several minutes (and of course there wasn’t a clerk to be found) I decided to totally forget about the hangers.
I resolved that by stopping to look for the hangers I would find them. I turned my attention to the other items on my list and crossed the hangers off my list.
Sure enough, when I was underneath the “Automotive and Hardware” sign a few minute later, there were the hangers.
Huh? The least logical place where hangers should be, but there they were.
Lately I’ve been using this approach in copywriting.
There are times, even when I’m under deadline pressure, that I know I have to stop thinking about copywriting.
I resist the urge to turn to page 96 in Joe Sugarman’s Adweek Copywriting Handbook to study the copy flowchart to see if I’m missing something crucial in the letter or email I’m working on.
I don’t dip into Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Sales Letters That Sizzle book.
I ignore the Matt Furey emails in my inbox.
I stay away from the forums and skip over the copywriting and marketing folders in my Google Reader, even forsaking Seth Godin’s blog.
Instead I’ll pick up Reader’s Digest or a mystery novel and read that instead.
I also make sure to move around and do some exercise and then take a shower.
I’ll do this copywriting-avoidance for several hours.
Before long the ideas are pouring out of me and I simply have to go back to the computer and almost effortlessly crank out some email copy.
The funny thing is that I always deeply resist copywriting-avoidance even as I know it unleashes creativity for me.
I persuade myself that sitting at the computer means I’m working hard and the hours pass with nary a word written.
How about you? Do you ever practice copywriting-avoidance? If so, which copywriting-avoidance techniques work for you?
The homeless man standing at an intersection near the mall today was the sorriest looking man I’ve seen in a while.
He held a cardboard sign that said something like “Homeless and hungry.”
There was no clear call to action on the sign.
He didn’t have a USP – he looked like most every other homeless man I’ve seen.
The copy on his sign didn’t offer any entertainment value.
I’ve heard marketers say that even homeless people get better response rates when they use clever wording on their sign. That way the giver at least gets a laugh in return for giving the homeless person some money.
These thoughts ran through my head in about 15 seconds.
I briefly considered giving him some cash but figured he would just spend it on cigarettes or drink and set about to thinking about the cool tennis racket I had just purchased.
“Mom, why is that man standing there?” my 13-year-old daughter asked.
“He’s homeless and hungry and wants money,” I said, wondering why the red light was lasting so long.
“Awwwwwwwwwwwww,” she said, exactly the way one would say it if doting over a cute baby.
I guiltily rummaged through my purse but all I had was a couple of twenty dollar bills and a few ones.
“Give him one of your twenties!” she said.
“No!” I said too abruptly. “That’s too much!” He could buy way too many cigarettes with that, I figured.
I held up my two one dollar bills but that seemed too measley of an amount and not worth the effort to roll down the window and call the man over. Still the light remained red.
My daughter put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill her grandmother gave her earlier in the day.
I gave the money to the man. His smile revealed that it’s probably been decades since he’s visited a dentist and he said, “God bless you. Thank you for having a giving heart.”
Finally the light turned green and as I drove off I hoped he would buy some food with the money.
Now here’s the part of the blog post where I should transition into a lesson about marketing or a sales pitch of some sort.
I suppose I could say that even crappy copy and a lousy presentation can generate results.
Or that “positioning” is everything. Stand by an intersection with a long red light and you’ll boost your response rate with no extra effort on your part.
But mostly?
I want to think about marketing a little bit less and go “awwwww” a little bit more.
Sounds like a good way to become a better copywriter and marketer.
I’ve have the privilege of helping Jay White launch and maintain his Email Copy Made Easy membership site.
Today he held a free teleseminar about email copywriting and I made a cameo appearance about 50 minutes into it and talked about how I came to become an email copywriter. In the teleseminar Jay gives many tips about how to write email copy and shares his story as well. You can catch the replay here.
Jay is a great guy and the reason I discovered email copywriting. I took his Autoresponder Apprentice program a year and a half ago and have been flooded with work ever since.
