I discovered the Garfield Minus Garfield blog last week and I’m glad I did.

The artist removes Garfield from existing Garfield strips “in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle.”

Here are some examples:

Please check out the site. There’s also a book of these strips too. Garfield creator Jim Davis endorses it.

It’s fun to take this Garfield Minus Garfield concept and apply it to copywriting.

Imagine a typical internet marketing sales page and remove the “cash sucking machine” phrases. What would be left?

Remove the yellow highlighter marks. What would be left?

Remove all the speed bumps (screenshots of bank account deposits, testimonials, unnecessary graphics). What would be left?

Anyway, have a great weekend. I hope yours is more thrilling than Jon Arbuckle’s in the above strip.

After you write a draft of copy, turn into a “that” hunter. Delete as many of the “thats” as you can. Your copy will flow better as a result.

Way back in the day, my first full time job was as a consumer respondent at Parker Brothers games.

I answered questions about the rules to the various games they make (Monopoly, Ouija board, Sorry and so on).

One time an elderly lady wrote a letter requesting a copy of the rules to the game of Sorry because she had lost them.

She then went on for several paragraphs about how sad she was because her husband had died, she was estranged from a daughter, etc. etc. I was so struck by how she poured her heart out to a stranger.

People would often call and ask things like, “The Ouija board says I’m going to die tomorrow. What do I do????”

The way I handled calls like this is worthy of a blog post of its own.

Suffice to say I had to do a tremendous amount of listening to customers about things that had nothing to do about the actual products we sold.

Listening is powerful and effective but how can you use it in your marketing?

I’ll describe two of the ways you can do this.

The first is a listening technique called BATHE that was developed by two doctors as a way to quickly get to the heart of a patient’s story in a busy doctor’s office and also show empathy at the same time.

I’ve used this technique in marketing as well.

For example, I once created a survey that asked questions based on these questions and it received a huge response.

One can use this technique in other ways as well, such as questions you ask on you Facebook fan pages, etc.

Here’s how it works:

B = Background. Ask the question, “What happened to you?”

In marketing, the questions would be something like, “Tell me a little about your background and experience with email marketing.”

A = Affect. Ask the question, “And how does that make you feel?”

Yes, you should ask that question in your business too because as copywriters and marketers it’s very important to know what their dominant feeling is about their problem.

T = Trouble. Ask the question, “And what troubles you the most now?” This helps focus the person’s mind.

In marketing, asking something like, “What is your greatest difficulty with email marketing?”

You’ll get specific answers that will even inspire product ideas sometimes.

This happened to me after creating a survey using these questions.

H = Handling. Ask the question, “And what helps you the most to handle this?” This question focuses the attention on the resources around them that can help them to cope and take action.

In marketing this question can give you an opportunity to follow up by showing what you have to offer them.

E = Empathy. Sincerely express the feelings you experienced as you listened to the other person.

In marketing this would take the form of simple statements like, “I’m very sorry you had difficult with our product” while interacting with a customer.

Or telling a story in your email or web copy that shows you have once been in their shoes.

The second way to listen to your customers is to write emails and blog posts that they want to reply to.

An email is more than an opportunity to get a customer to click on your link.

It’s an opportunity to listen as well. The listening benefits the customer… and you and your bottom line.

If you want to read more about how to use BATHE in your personal life (after all, the great thing about marketing is how these skills can make you a better person too) read my How Listening is Like Prozac post on my personal blog. I have other posts there about listening as well.

And thanks to Doberman Dan for making a video that reminded me I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time.

A couple of months ago I went to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch.

I showed up at 11:30 but the door was locked, even though they open at 11:00.

I saw workers inside so I knocked. I waited a couple of minutes and almost left.

Finally someone opened the door. She noticed the time and said, “Yikes, I wonder how much business we lost by accidentally keeping the door locked?!”

That’s an excellent question and one you should ask yourself regularly, even if yours is an online business.

Today I want to address two specific areas where I see a lot of marketers keeping the door locked:

Sending out teaser emails that link to a blog post instead of including the entire content in the email.

And:

Not including the entire blog post in the RSS feed. So only a snippet appears in people’s Google Reader inbox.

To me this is the equivalent of a locked door.

When I’m looking at my email inbox I’m almost always in a hurry and focused on which emails I need to reply to. I’m not usually in the mood to click on a link.

I’m also seeing which emails I can quickly delete. If there’s an email from a marketer with the complete blog post in the email there’s at least a chance I will read it right away or save it for later.

If there is only a teaser, the email gets deleted. I usually subscribe to their RSS feed instead so I can see their blog posts that way and avoid the teaser email.

But sometimes those same marketers don’t let their entire post appear in Google Reader either. Argh!

That’s too bad because when I’m in Google Reader I’m actually in the frame of mind to read more leisurely, unlike when I’m looking at my email inbox.

Google Reader doesn’t have the urgency and pressure that an email inbox has, so don’t irritate your readers there by making them have to click to read the post.

Please don’t overlook the importance of Google Reader in your email marketing. If you send out blog posts as emails (as you should, as I’ve written about before) then please check the reading setting of your blog and make sure “full text” is checked instead of “summary” in the feed section.

I know there are those that will say they get higher conversion rates by only sending teasers. That’s cool.

My recommendations are based on what I’ve seen my clients do and all the high profile bloggers I read who let their complete posts appear in Reader. In my opinion, I think this is one door you won’t want to keep locked.

Instead of analyzing several different subject lines, I’m going to keep it simple today because it’s a holiday weekend.

Also, the email J. Peterman sent on April Fool’s day is worthy of a post of its own. It was by far the most engaging email I received all week. Click here to see it.

The subject line was: MACRONEAUX’S J. PETERMAN MAKES OFFER FOR FRANCE

Using humor in email copy can be tricky, but J. Peterman manages to pull it off well.

You should sign up for their list. The emails they send out are always worth reading and studying.

I don’t know about you, but around here it’s been a tiring week.

So I was happy to discover The Oatmeal blog a week ago because it gave me many much needed laughs this week. I even laughed until I get tears into my eyes a couple of times.

My three favorite comics on this blog are:

10 Reasons to Avoid Talking on the Phone

How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell

10 Words You Need to Stop Misspelling

I think any freelancer will relate to the design post, even if you aren’t a designer.

The Oatmeal blog is less than a year old yet it has an Alexa ranking of 3000 or so already.

Which proves that people love it if you can make them laugh.

The posts on my blog that get retweeted the most are my Fun Friday posts. There’s a lesson there. Have some fun already. We don’t need constant how-to content.

Anyway, enjoy The Oatmeal (be sure to check out some of the other comics while you’re there) and have a great weekend.

One afternoon last summer I was sitting in my front yard with my netbook while writing some copy.

An Asian lady walked up to me and handed me a menu for her local Chinese restaurant.

She smiled, said thank you, and went on her way.

No hype, no sales pitch. No flyer with a limited term offer. Just a menu.

I noticed that she only gave her menu to people who were outside or walking down the street.

She didn’t take the easy way out and just put it in mailboxes or attach it to front doors.

I glanced at the address on the menu and noticed her takeout restaurant is on the busiest street in town. I had driven past it hundreds of times without ever noticing it.

But after she gave me the menu I went there that same night to get takeout.

I’ve been there many times since and no longer get takeout from the large Chinese restaurant in town like I used to.

Why?

Every time I go there I see that same lady working hard in the kitchen.

Her young sons are often there playing games on a laptop or doing homework and are very charming and always well-behaved.

Seeing this family business in action tells me many stories without even having to chat with them.

Supporting this business is a no-brainer for me because I respect their hard work. And it feels more personal… I get to be a participant in their story by buying from them.

Plus the food is always good.

This is an example of how, in your online business, a small list can sometimes be more responsive than a large list.

And personally reaching out to your prospects by handing them a menu.. i.e. sending them the right emails… makes all the difference.

A hype-free email with a story is like the Asian lady who walked up to me personally, smiled, and gave me her menu.

Most marketers have trouble writing those kinds of emails. I’ve written about 1000 of them for clients in the past three years. So feel free to contact me if you could use some help.

Every day that you’re not handing out menus you’re losing sales.

Just sayin’.

P. S. If you’d like some squeeze page templates to go along with those emails, check out these 10 templates by Sonia and Angela Panesar.

As an email copywriter I’m often asked to write squeeze page copy. You gotta have the right squeeze page if you want people to see your awesome emails. The right squeeze page templates will save you a ton of time.